Only The Reflection
by Yami Yugi Chan Returns
Summary: A Seto POV about himself and the Ice within him, the self loating he feels and why.... does someone within love him? *Dedicated and inspired by Saendie." R


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Only the Reflection.

Disclaimer: Yu-Gi-Oh is NOT mine, these views are mine but maaaaah twisted I guess? There is no particular time period from these but I guess it's after the whole Duel Monsters Tournament at the Duellist Kingdom. Ummm possibly a little bit in to that? Anyways no suing me for this….. 

First things first! Damn I'm shocked about the FF Net decision! I don't agree with stealing peoples right to write what they feel. Not a lot of the NC-17 stuff is poorly written and to punish us writers for a few kids ignoring all the warnings is stupid! 

Now on to my fic. Just a quick piece (Admittedly inspired a little by one of Saendie's fic.) about Seto, the thoughts he holds, the child within and his own self loathing? Well read it and see what you make of it.! ^-^

On to the Ficcie!

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Is… that what I am? Really? What I am? … Seto Kaiba?… No… I'm not a Kaiba… I'm something else… it's been a while since I managed to think about what I really am… I lost the right to think of whom I was when I made him hide……

Seto sat, looking at his hands, confused by his own thoughts, his office seemed strange, so alien, and so strange to him. Was this what he'd really wanted for his life or had his dreams been different a long time ago? The Blue Eyed teen chuckled to himself, he'd always wanted to be a Computer Game player, some parts of his childish self had not eluded him, he'd made those Capsules in honour of that half of him, the half that had hid from the shadows. The side that had such warm blue eyes. The side that even now seemed to hold a warmth his icy self needed.

Seto stood from his leather chair, his mind less focused on his work, he walked down the halls of the mansion he'd acquired, at least Mokuba had a home with him always, like the young one had promised. [_At least this promise the young one made, I managed to keep._] the Icy Blue eyes scanned the garage and picked the nearest car, he climbed in and drove, drove far to the coast where he sat, alone, totally silent. His ice blue eyes gazing over the sun setting in to the waters.

{You……. I do not hate you… so why do you hate yourself?} A voice softly murmured, then soft, warm Blue Eyes looked in to hard cold ones. {You…. Took a lot for me…. Cared for me…. I love you… for that.}

The Icy eyes looked silently then softly the harsher voice whispered "Young one….. you… knew?"

The little one nodded slightly, his eyes were slightly sadder now "….. I…. Knew…. What he did….. to you…. You took it… for me….. to help my brother….. you made the pain not hurt….. but… I could feel your sadness… why?"

Ice eyes closed and a soft sigh passed "……… You ….. cannot know… the first time you saw me… embraced me…. You were the first to ever show me kindness. ….. I owed you little one. You allowed me a home…. A place to belong. For longer than you'll know. I drifted." 

Warm eyes gazed at now nostalgic ice blue "O-oh……" then the boy hung his head "I never meant for you to take so much of my pain for me…"

The icy eyed one picked the smaller child up and hugged him "We are alike my little warm one…. You shared my pain. So I shared yours." He rested his head on the small boy "You still feel so warm… I never meant to keep you locked up for so long but…. There never seems to be a right time to allow you your chance at life… But.. one day…. Soon my warm one… one day when none will threaten you. When none make your warm eyes shimmer with tears… maybe then… I'll let you wake.. but…." The ice one trailed off 

Warm eyes gazed, with affection, a look that both warmed and broke the heart of ice, how could he allow this little innocent to get lost in the cruel world around him? The Warm one hugged the ice one "… Thank you….. For caring for me… one day… You'll find your home. I know you will!" there was a bright smile now on the lips of the boy.

The ice one held his pain and nodded, returning the warm smile with his cool smirking smile, his ice was hard to break free of, he would always be cold. "I…. Fear that I have not always been able to care properly for your bother."

"But…you always pulled through in the end…"

"…. I nearly lost him.."

"But you didn't"

"….. I—" a small finger was risen to the lips of the ice one

"Shhh…. Stop trying to make me hate you."

Ice eyes looked at warm ones "….."

"You …. Want for hate so much…… what has happened to you is not your fault…. I know you want hate to wash away the scars….. scars that were reserved for me.. .but…. If only I could take them, then maybe you would not hate yourself…"

"No warm one… I hate the fact that I have had to hide your warmth… but… it was necessary…. I hate my self for allowing you to be denied your happiness…. With your brother…."

"But you have kept us both alive and well, you provide for him and make him feel safe and happy.… You have saved us both and looked after us….. I though the mean man might kill one of us.. but you…. Stepped in .. and protected us from our hurt and our grief…" 

"………" The head of ice one was now hung low as he felt a strange feeling, of content, of joy but then, memories thick and black washed over him.

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"Stupid Boy!" a snap echoed in the room, the crack of a belt "You think you'll be anything with all this happy love? You and that stupid soft toy!" a small dragon toy was wrenched from his small hands and torn "Weakling! Only fools feel affection!"

Tears streaked a small boys face as his only momento of who he had been was ripped, stuffing laying over the floor, little hands grip at the ripped off head and clutch it tight, tear staining it as the little boy whimpers "Mommy…Daddy…". He then closes his eyes tighter as the man roughly drags him to a study and ties him to a chair, forcing him to begin working all over again, the same things, the same painful routine, branded on his mind like some kind of burn. He cries as he writes, wishing it would al end……… 

Ice eyes harden in a growl at the painful memories of the boys past flood his mind he looks at the still smiling young one "….. You are strong….. he was wrong.. when he said _You'll be dead by the time I'm done._ He was so very wrong… you'll always be strong and warm…. Like a Phoenix.. rising from the ashes…. My…. Phoenix." The Ice one smiled, his eyes still icy but his heart warming to the little boy. 

The Boy smiled brighter than a sunbeam and continued to cuddle the ice one "I'm your warmth and you are my ice wall…… let's keep each other company….."

The ice one nodded and began his trek home, the young one, though invisible to all others followed him, holding hands with him. Seto crawled in to bed, the little on by his side "Good night.. Phoenix." 

The boy, now nicknamed Phoenix smiled, he kissed the icy ones cheek and whispered "Goodnight…. Seto…."

There was little to invade his dreams, but more a prospect of burring a past that had long been the source of his own hatred, it was now burning in those flames. His Phoenix burning those painful shattered fragments of the mirror, that had only been his reflection, he yawned and whispered "Only the Reflection….."

End…..

Well what did we think? It made little sense but it has been in my mind a while. Sorry Saendie if you don't like the idea of me taking that "Seto Yami" idea then tell me and I'll remove the fic. I know it's not exactly like your fic but it is inspired by it. 

Well please R&R!!!!!

--YYC-- 

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